Boyfriend’s bizarre stupor comes with torrent of abuse

jeanne phillips

DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced single mother who has finally met someone. Her name is "Greg" and we have been dating for two months. Greg is also divorced and financially stable. The only thing he really likes is that he gets along with my teenage son.
The problem is that every two or three weeks, Greg falls into a deep sleep that lasts three days. He gets up to get a glass of water or to run to the store, but he falls asleep again. He makes her miss work and often becomes verbally abusive during these episodes.
At Christmas, I watched him consistently for just 10 minutes all weekend. When I wasn't half asleep, he called me names, belittled my self-esteem, and told me that no one but him would love me, so "I better stay." On Christmas Eve, I was left alone and crying in a dark room.
When these episodes aren't happening, he's attentive and charming. Her daughter told me that she has been like this for years. I feel resentful for everything he has put me through in such a short time, but I am afraid that I won't find anyone else after being single and alone for so long. Can I get her advice on how to view her situation? — BELIEVED IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR AMAZING: Greg's behavior is not normal. Talk to him when he's conscious. Ask him if he remembers what happens to his personality during these long periods when he is "asleep." Tell him that his tirades are hurtful and verbally abusive. Ask him what he thinks is causing these episodes. Could he be having an adverse reaction to a drug or some other substance he's taking, because the person you're meeting isn't the Greg you love?
Greg may need to be physically and neurologically examined to make sure he doesn't have a medical problem. However, if he refuses, he draws the line NOW and ends the relationship because he won't get better without intervention. As lonely as you feel, PLEASE consider how lonely your future will be if you stay with him, and how damaging it will be to your impressionable child.
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DEAR ABBY: How do I deal with a difficult co-worker? I am kind, polite, and courteous to this person, and they are brief, rude, and condescending in response. They are the kind of person who wouldn't mind if I walked up to them and told them that my feelings are hurt, and they would probably make fun of me behind my back. How do I deal with this person? They make me want to quit my job. — ANNOYED IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR ANNOYED: Does this co-worker treat everyone the way he treats you? If the answer is yes, then as a group document these incidents and inform your supervisor or employer that the individual is creating a hostile work environment. If you are the only employee receiving the brunt of your co-worker's hostility, you will need to speak to your employer yourself. And if nothing can be done to remedy the situation, you may need to seek employment elsewhere.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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(Editors: For editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, [email protected])


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