Although it may be a cliché, the fact is that we must love ourselves before we can love another person. Loving ourselves means knowing ourselves, nurturing ourselves, and understanding how valuable we are. It takes courage to fall in love, even if you haven't been burned before, and that courage comes from being sure of who you are and what you want: traits and lessons that come with rescuing canon.
"Focusing on yourself instead of others means doing what I call 'choosing yourself.' It means giving yourself the gift of time, drawing firm boundaries around the time you spend on yourself and yourself," said licensed therapist Lair Torrent, LMFT. MindBodyGreen. As Torrent explained, space and time alone allow for growth and protect us from becoming our partners. "People who take time for themselves tend to be happier and more grounded in who they are, and as a result, they tend to be better, more thoughtful companions," she says. When two whole people who have done the work necessary to be their true, authentic selves come together, they are much less likely to lose their identity as the relationship evolves. That is the result of the rescue of the canon.
