A woman who founded a support service for victims of domestic abuse has started a pilot plan in Halesowen designed to train hairdressers, barbers and beauty professionals in recognizing the signs so they can help.
Mother of one Samantha Billingham has joined forces with more than 20 downtown businesses to promote the Cut It Out campaign.
The 41-year-old said she `` only existed '' after experiencing a torrent of physical and psychological abuse during a three-year relationship.
READ MORE: Watch the Secret Sign of Domestic Abuse That Could Save Someone's Life Amid Rising Lockdown Violence
"When I woke up in the morning I always wondered if today would be the day he would kill me," he recalled, speaking in the photo.
"I was in a dark place from which I could not see the exit. Every day I walked on eggshells, petrified of the man who claimed to love me."
The mother of one left her partner after a 'wake up call' assault where he slapped her across the face and split her lip while holding her baby.
Now the founder of a domestic abuse charity focusing on "life after abuse".
"My smile tells me that I did the one thing my attacker said he would never do, live without him," said the 41-year-old, who started Survivors of Domestic Abuse (SODA) After Leaving.
"Hopefully it will inspire others and give them a message, that there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is a life after domestic abuse."
The mother has not only regained control of her life, but now works with more than 20 hairdressers, tattooists and beauticians in Halesowen to drive the Cut it Out campaign, with plans for implementation throughout the region.
The project was originally started in Norfolk after the tragic murder of Kerri McAuley - who confided in her hairdresser a few weeks before she was murdered by her abusive partner.
Cut It Out has professionals trained to detect signs of abuse in their clients so they can direct them to support.
"It's about training and encouraging staff like hairdressers, barbers and beauty professionals to know how to identify those early warning signs in their clients and how to direct them to access specialized services when they do," explained Ms. Billingham.
Samantha had posters designed and printed for display at businesses in Halesowen that support the campaign, including Jen's Mens Cuts and Kryi Barbers.
Her charity, SODA, will also provide training to company staff on how to spot the signs, how to react if they make a disclosure and how to flag them to services like Women's Aid and Man Kind.
"Hopefully, it will encourage victims of domestic abuse to understand that they are not alone and that support is available," he added.
"Hopefully, it will give them confidence to talk to their hairdressers because they have that relationship with them, for example, they could be the only person they see regularly.
"It's about believing, responding, and referring. It wasn't until I escaped my relationship that I learned how controlled I'd been. It wasn't just physical, it was also about power and control.
Anyone can suffer violence or abuse in the home; find out how and where to get help.
In the West Midlands, contact Women's Aid through their confidential helpline at 0808 800 0028.
Tips from NHS says that if you are at risk for abuse or domestic violence, you can:
The Survivor's Handbook from the Women's Aid charity is free and provides information for women on a wide range of topics, including housing, money, helping their children, and their legal rights.
Men can send emails too info@mensadviceline.org.uk, which can refer men to local places that can help, such as health services and voluntary organizations.
For forced marriage and "honor" crimes, contact Karma Nirvana (0800 5999 247) or the Forced Marriage Unit (020 7008 0151).
Gallop supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people experiencing domestic violence.
Anyone who needs confidential help with their own abusive behavior can contact I respect on their toll-free helpline on 0808 802 4040.
"I had never seen a poster, never heard of domestic abuse until I experienced it."
Samantha tried repeatedly to leave her abusive partner, but says it wasn't until he hit her that she steeled herself to leave for good.
"When he slapped me and parted my lip while holding my ten-month-old baby in my arms, for me that was the wake-up call. I knew I had to go, that I had to end there," he recalled, referring to his experience to create awareness.
โShe saved my life, without my daughter I would not be here today, without the slightest doubt she would probably be dead.
"He was lovely, he made me feel special. Looking back now, it started with the isolation, when he prevented me from seeing my parents.
"Before I knew it, I wasn't seeing my friends, my family. I didn't really see any signs."
It was only after she left, and completed a Help for Women questionnaire to determine if she had been a victim, that she realized the extent of the control.
He launched SODA three years after leaving his partner to help the escaped victims.
"We put the focus on life after domestic abuse, that's the most important point where they need support," he said.
"Because they have been programmed for so long by their partner, we help them deprogram them. Because they have been controlled, they do not know how to think for themselves, so we guide them so they can do it again."
She hopes to launch the Cut It Out campaign, through her charity, to the rest of the West Midlands in the future.
"I never had that support and I know what that 'everything is fine at home' conversation would mean to someone else," he added.
"We hope to roll it out across the West Midlands, and it is aimed at men and women, it is aimed at anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse.
"It's about raising awareness, I would love to see that across the region, it would be amazing."
If you have been affected by this story, you can confidently contact us by emailing stephanie.balloo@reachplc.com
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