Perhaps the reason the name Franklin P. Adams (1881-1960) has faded is that he was a journalistic personality of the sort we don't have much of anymore: a wit, a regular at the Algonquian Round Table, and a figure in the comic-intellectual radio talk show circuit. Or perhaps the reason Adams is largely forgotten is that he was a journalist, period. The fame power of having a daily column in a New York newspaper is no longer what he used to be.
One loss we suffer in his demise, however, is the awareness that he was a gifted formalist poet who understood the difficult art of comic verse writing. Rarely indulging in slapstick or vulgarity, he had a genius for quick, clever verse. The most famous such undertaking of his is probably a New York Giants baseball fan about the Chicago Cubs infield,"Tinker to Evers to Chance.” But his translations and updates of Horace's odes deserve credit (as do Kipling's).
On Wednesdays we try to offer lighter verse here at The New York Sun, and today's Poem of the Day is Adams's complaint about fiction writers' unwillingness to use the verb "say." In six-line stanzas—four lines of ballad meter, alternating four-foot and three-foot lines, followed by a tetrameter couplet—she quotes the stream of fanciful verbs by which writers avoid saying someone said.
monotonous variety
by Franklin P Adams
(All of them from two stories in a single magazine.)
She "greeted" and he "offered";
She "laughed"; he "affirmed";
She "inquired" and he "veered slightly";
She "dragged" and he "avoided";
She “sneered”, she “laughed” and he “affirmed”;
He "murmured", "avoided" and "objected".
She "answered languidly"; he
“He incautiously nodded”;
Doretta "lazily offered";
Will “quickly made up”;
She "stopped", "whispered", "asked" and "reflected";
He “urged”, “acknowledged” and “rejected”.
She "added gently"; “she claimed”;
He "consciously invited";
She "then corrected"; William "covered";
She "recited beautifully";
She "assented," "assented," and "consented";
He "promised," "hastened," and "confessed."
Doretta "rebuked"; “warned” will;
She "expressed" and he "defended";
She "concessed"; he "continued still";
She "sneered" and he "made amends";
She “smiled”, “tweeted” and “dared”
He “scorned”, “exclaimed”, “uttered” and “burst”.
He "gave up," "believed," "explained," and "tried";
She "commented"; he muttered";
She "blushed," "dimpled," and "sighed";
He "ventured" and "stammered";
She “spoke”, “suggested” and “pursued”;
He "begged," "pouted," "called," and "saw."
* * *
Oh synonymous writers, you
Whose work is so expensive.
Don't you think that variety
Can it haply be too spicy?
It seems to me that in a greater day
They had one or two things that say.
___________________________________________
With "Poem of the Day," The New York Sun offers a daily serving of verse selected by Joseph Bottum with the help of North Carolina poet Sally Thomas, Associate Poetry Editor at The Sun. Tied to the day, the season, or simply individual taste, the poems are drawn from the deep traditions of English verse: the great work of the past, along with the living poets who keep those traditions alive. The aim is always to show that poetry can still serve as a delight to the ear, an instruction to the mind, and a tonic to the soul.
Mr. Bottum is the author of eight books, including An Anxious Age and The Decline of the Novel. Director of Dakota State University's Institute for Classics, he has written more than 800 essays, poems, reviews, and short stories in publications from the Atlantic to the Washington Post. His poetry collections include The Fall & Other Poems and The Second Spring, and he received a 2019 Christopher Medal for his poetry in the year's best children's book. He lives in the Black Hills of South Dakota.
