"It's just a blatant smokescreen to keep feathering the nest."
This sentence, uttered recently by a hapless public servant during a radio interview, left some listeners wondering if the nest in question belonged to a phoenix.
Here are some of my recent favorites, organized into frivolous categories:
Mixed Breeds of Animals: "He and his colleagues are like hungry dogs galloping on the wrong track." "Those vipers stabbed us in the back." "Those lions and tigers will come home to rest." "When a Trojan horse like that gets on your doorstep, you start to think someone has an ax to grind."
Bodies sewn: "It is not easy to stick your head through the branches." "His knees were starting to hurt, the Achilles heel of all skiers." "This field of research is so virgin that no human eye has ever set foot on it." "His leg was amputated after a long illness."
Hi-tech mixology: "The audience is literally electrified and glued to their seats." "The trial will have to be withheld until the practicalities of the reforms are digested." "Environmentalists are hitting the bottleneck in an effort to reduce it to reasonable proportions."
Political mash-ups: "The Tories would rather go up in flames than accept half a bar." "An almost universal crescendo of hysteria and violence is the way through the horns of dilemma." "The vacuum in the presidency hung over the university." "The ship of state is sailing the wrong way down a one-way street." "Mr. Speaker, I smell rat. I see it floating in the air. But look closely, sir, I'll nip it in the bud."
Water and oil: "I am not repairing bridges that we have already sold down the river." "The future is a bumpy, uncharted sea." "The Midwest is mired in a month-long drought." "I'm just a big wheel in a little pond."
We should laugh, but in a recent edition of Psychology Today, Roger Kreuz, a professor of psychology at the University of Memphis, points out that mixed metaphors can sometimes be effective because these jarring juxtapositions capture the reader's or listener's attention.
William Shakespeare knew it. In Hamlet's famous soliloquy, for example, the despondent Dane says that he could choose to "take up arms against a sea of โโtroubles, and by opposing them end them." Impressive and emphatic? Yes. But I still can't help but imagine Hamlet shooting arrows into a turbulent ocean.
Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites you to his language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, by email to [emailย protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, California, 90254.
Author of the photo: buzz andersen on Unsplash
